5 reasons to hate the Kansas City Chiefs

I'll admit, there aren't many reasons to hate KC. They haven't exactly been a thorn in our side and I had to scratch and claw to find the hate to write this. But, I was able to find five solid reasons to dislike them.

5) You invented small markets!
As a kid, I never heard the term small markets. Was it even around in the 80's, before salaries ballooned and small market owners bitched about it? I'm not so sure. I just know that when I started watching the Bills, I never considered us a small market. I first heard the term in relation to baseball. I do know that in baseball, teams like the Royals and Brewers made it to the Fall Classic during the 80's. Did fans and media members talking about how those cities had like, 20 people living there? Did they say how insane it was for a small market team to make it to the World Series? Probably not. It changed though in the early part of the 90's. I remember that when baseball went on strike in 1994, that's all I kept hearing. SMALL MARKETS. And it seemed like everyone's favorite example was KC. Since then, you can't read or discuss anything about Buffalo sports without small markets coming up. We can't compete. We have to knock on doors to sell luxury boxes. We can't afford a new stadium. Blah, blah, blah. All major sports have adopted this way of thinking now. The Royals are pretty bad, by the way.  They have made the Bills look like a dynasty over the last 20 years. For crap sakes, they haven't made the playoffs since 1985! (Editor's note: Longer drought than the Pirates!  Woo-hoo! -HB) I'm sure they will chalk up their losing ways to being a small market and not being able to compete. Well, that sucks! I've heard it mentioned a few times around these parts with the Sabres (Golisano) and the Bills (the Toronto experiment), and I blame the Royals. They started it.
4) You made us believe in our QBs.
We all know the 2000's have been a black hole of doom in Buffalo. However, can you name the non-division foe the Bills have the most wins against since 2000? It is the KC Chiefs (5-3). Yes, we own you! But, wait? Why is this on the list of hate? Shouldn't we love them for that?  Easy. They made us believe in our QBs. Remember Rob Johnson leaping into the end zone in a thrilling fashion to beat KC? How about when JP Losman threw 2 pretty rainbow TDs to Lee Evans in 2005 in relief of Kelly Holcomb? Trent Edwards best statistical game came when he scored four touchdowns (2 rushing, 2 passing) against KC. Fitzmagic tied a career high with 4 TDs against them last year. All defining moments for us to believe in our QBs, all fool's gold. Damn you, KC! 
3) Canning Chan
No one fires our coach! Well, we can after they suck, but you can't fire them before they get to us. We pride ourselves on giving retreads 2nd chances. (See: Wade, Marv, Jauron, Knox, Saban and Gailey.)  The worst kept secret is that Gailey hates KC. He hates them because rookie coach Todd Haley, who looks like he's never taken a shower, decided to fire him before the 2009 regular season started. Funny, but that was also the same time we fired Turk Schonert. Anyway, it is not a cool move to fire a OC before the season starts, especially when you never worked with the guy to begin with. Um, shouldn't you have thought of that when you get hired in January? Don't let him fool you, Gailey wants revenge. Last year, when the Bills were up 41-7, the Bills had Brad Smith throw a bomb out of the wildcat formation. Hmmm… Running up the score?
2) Tyler F'N Thigpen
Do I have to go on? Not since Rick Strom or Travis Brown have we had a bigger joke as the backup QB. Seriously, no one loves beating up on crappy backups more than Buffalo fans. (Also see: backup goalies.) All I kept hearing after we signed Thigpen last year was how he and Gailey are like Lucius Fox and Batman. "Oh, put them together and all will be well. Gailey knows how to maximize his talents. Just like in KC." Yup, it was all based on what happened in KC in 2008 when Thigpen had 18 TDs in 11 starts. Since then, Thigpen has looked like a tire fire. He's been terrible during preseason games. He would have lost his job if it wasn't for Vince Young taking a nap during the 3rd preseason game. He will probably lose his job once Tarvaris Jackson knows the playbook. Oh, and he got hit in the helmet with a football. Awful.
1) 0 for 5
Yes, it could have happened. The Bills could have been the only team in NFL history to lose five Super Bowls. Alright, that's an awful way to look at it. I'm not a football historian, but all I keep hearing about the AFL/NFL was that the NFL was better until Jets/Colts. The Bills met the Chiefs in the AFL Championship with the winner going on to play the Packers in Super Bowl I. Yes, we could have had the great John Facenda doing the voiceover for Super Bowl I. What happened? The Bills got shredded, 31-7. Judging by the box score, the Bills lost because of turnovers (4) and their inability to stop or start the running game (Chiefs: 113, Bills: 40). My anger is pretty subdued at this point because my dad and mom hadn't met each other yet much less popped my carcass out into the world, but if there are angry angry 75-year-olds reading this, please put in the comments why this game blows.
Twitter's finest:
Ryan T. ‏@theryno85: Memphis BBQ is waaaay better than KC BBQ #ReasonsToHateKC
Khaliyl ‏@FrankieKarin:1 reason, KC are my initials… So until the game is over I'll be going by Bhaliyl Borbett #Bills
Bruce Nolan ‏@BruceExclusive : they claim ownership of BBQ
Jonathan Hoepfinger ‏@FrackingSabres: Isn't Rush Limbaugh from Kansas City?
David F Ladies ‏@David_F_Ladies: I hate that dumbass I'm goin to KC song lol I hate there whole patriot loving organization they are NE jr
Two in the Box ‏@2ITB_Buffalo: they stole the tomahawk chop from FSU, cuz KC can't think of anything original. (Editor's note: Tomahawk chop equals automatic hate. -HB)
Jay Hyzy ‏@hyzy: I hate disco = KC & the Sunshine Band ergo I hate KC #Bills
The Scizz ‏@TheScizz: I told you. Okoye and Bam Morris were unstoppable duo in Tecmo Super Bowl.

About Joe

The Lord of Buffalo Wins